Sunday, April 3, 2016

Bud Light Platinum: nectar of the demigods

I've already gone on the glorious record (where else but here?) calling coffee (oh sweet sweet coffee) drink of the Gods. So obviously the next drink I want to talk up will have to do being nectar of the mere demigods. That drink is none other than Bud Light Platinum (or BLP, as it is reverentially known among its devoted followers) - a top notch offering of St. Louis'  Belgium's very own Budweiser InBev SAB Miller.

Launched with much fanfare in early 2012, BLP became an instant sensation with its sleek shape, deep blue color with bold silver accent, and  - more importantly - 6% ABV. The beer was in short supply (probably intentional?) in the initial weeks to the point where any schmuck who brought a six pack to a house party was the instant center of attention. I can personally attest to that, by the way. Oh the joys of wielding such power over the thirsty masses clamoring for a taste, nay just a sip of the sweet nectar!

Think I am exaggerating? Just look at the image below. Go on, spend a good two, three, five, eight, thirteen minutes staring at it and you'll see what I am talking about.


Budweiser describes BLP thus - "Bud Light Platinum is a premium light beer with a bold taste and a smooth, slightly sweet finish. From the moment you grab one of our signature cobalt blue bottles, you’ll be ready to make it platinum."

Quite possibly for the first time in history a company may be underselling its product. BLP is not just a light beer with a bold taste. It is a light beer that provides a truly life-altering experience the first time you touch that bottle to your lips, tilt the bottle and go glug glug glug. It has a silky smooth taste with just the perfect amount of intensity to it that you feel right as it hits your throat. Looking to go all out on the town with your friends? Blaze through a six pack right before and they'll thank you for it. Hosting the perfect super bowl party? Grab a 24 pack off the shelf and pass them out as generously as you would salsa for the nachos. BLP is the ultimate versatile beer with the same good taste each time. (Speaking of which, I am available to write copy for your ads if you are hiring, InBev. I am already a convert so I don't even have to lie!)

Now the snobs will all get themselves in a tizzy over this. Bud products have been called everything from 'pisswater' to 'water' to 'an insult to beer'. That's ok. You can let them froth all over while you relax on your recliner nursing your ice-cold BLP.

Something happiness is as simple as enjoying the simple things in life.

So next Friday night treat yourself to a BLP (6% alcohol, 137 calories, 0g in fat and just 4.4g in carbs). For a glorious moment you too will live like the demigods. 

1 comment:

  1. Glorious. Beer snobs = pwned. "Hurrr, muh aftertaste of mellow straw, pine, and a touch of a apple, cereals and marshmallow..." Have you ever read reviews? LOL XD