Saturday, January 15, 2011

UG Sports - 9: Three birds and a bear walked into the divisional playoffs

Three birds, one animal and four nouns: that's your playoffs picture for this weekend, folks. Seriously though, this has to be an unprecedented number of birds in one playoff (if only the cardinals had made it...). I was pretty seriously wrong with my predictions last week (1 out of 4), but since when has being wrong stopped anyone from doing anything in this world?

So here we go:

Ravens vs. Steelers: I think it's about time we inducted this rivalry into the rivalry hall of fame. You know, alongside England-France in the dark ages, Yankees-Red Sox, Pepsi-Coca Cola, Heidi-Lauren from the Hills...
The Ravens were brutal last week as they flattened the hapless Chiefs with remarkable ease (so much for the perceived home-field advantage for the Chiefs). But the Steelers are no Chiefs. Troy "the zen master" Polandabcradabramalu can turn games around faster than you can blink and although Big Ben has looked shaky at times, there is a reason they call him Big Ben. The football nerds have been calling this a battle of safeties: Ed Reed from the Ravens and Troy from the Steelers. This one is tough to call, but my vote goes to the Ravens.

Falcons vs. Packers: It's here folks. The Falcons and Mattie Ryan have been virtually indestructible inside the Georgia Dome and the experts can't stop raving about this x factor. The Packers, on the other hand, are looking very dangerous every week. Their defense made Michael Vick look absolutely pedestrian last week, and Clay Matthews (the stringy, vaguely Steve Tyler look-alike) is the x factor on their side. Football runs in his blood, literally. He is the fourth generation of Matthews to play at the pro levels. The Saints made the Falcons look surprisingly mediocre in their MNF game in the regular season, so I think they are going to be
shaky. I am going to be grinning with Green Bay when then win.

Jets vs. Patriots: Boy that Rex Ryan simply won't shut up. This time he really put his foot in his mouth. Or shot himself in the foot (my goal here is to reach a hundred foot jokes before the end of postseason). After saying their game against the Colts was personal, Ryan has now called this game personal as well. Seems like he has a fetish for making things personal. You know what I think? Those who can't win talk. And talk. You never see Tom Brady yapping away. The patriots have been relentless this season and they seem to have an unlimited supply of Wide Receivers and Tight Ends that Brady can throw to. This one is easy: Patriots are kick the Jets out with their feet.

Seahawks vs. da Bears: I think it's time da Bears roll out the superbowl shuffle. No one expected the hawks to make it this far, and I certainly don't expect them to make it past this week. Marshawn Lynch can't roll around like a battering ram each week. Bears.

Now go place your bets, people. 

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